We Didn’t Start the Dark Side:

A Poem for Star Wars Fans

By Brett A. Starr on August 14, 2022

 

Headnote: This poem is to be read, or sung, to the tune of “We didn’t start the fire” by Billy Joel. It is written with that rhythm in mind.

 

Chorus:

We didn’t start the dark side

It’s from another place and buried deep in space

We didn’t start the dark side

It’s from another source, that’s why we use the Force

 

A long, long time ago

A galaxy that we don’t know

Spaceship phaser guns

Star Destroyer, little runt

 

Captured ship, blast door

Storm troopers, gun war

Darth Vader, heavy breath

Firm grip, choke death

 

Princess Leia, secret tape

R2D2, pod escape

Owen Lars, wife Beru

Moisture farmer, Luke, too

 

Jawa tank, droid sale

Restraining bolt, big fail

Land speeder, three-pee-oh

Look out for the sand people

 

Obi-wan rescue

Secret message for you

Alderaan work to do

Choose to bring Luke, too

 

Mos Eisley bar cantina

Confrontation, Tattooine

Droids you’re not looking for

Move along the next door

 

Han Solo has a way

Chewbacca, first-mate

Guido wants a bounty paid

Han’s blaster no way

 

Hanger number ninety-four

Come on out the back door

Falcon Millennium

Take off and blast ‘em

 

Chess match, R2 in

Please let the wookie win

Alderann, blown apart

Fire power, Death Star

 

Oh my, that’s no moon

Turn around real soon

Too late, tractor beam

Hide below, quiet scene

 

Princess Leia, rescue

Skywalker, Solo too

Chewbacca walking tall

Three-pee-oh does protocol

 

Trash compactor, big squeeze

R2D2 -- help, please

Leia Solo conflict

Scruffy-looking convict

 

Com port, shut down

Time to get out-ta town

Science fiction Tarzan

Kiss for luck, good plan

 

Darth Vader, Obi-wan

Light saber action

Light speed get-away

Homing beacon, bad day

 

Yavin-4, rebel base

Send the fleet just in case

X-fighter - Red Wing

Y-fighter - Gold Wing

 

Tie fighter, space war

Try to end the Death Star

Exhaust port, weak spot

Use the force - great shot

 

Big blast, all gone

Looks like we won

Darth Vader gets away

Fight him another day

 

Princess Leia, royalty

Big reward for loyalty

Star Wars, opera soap

Conclusion of A New Hope

 

Chorus

 

Darth Vader back again

Planet Hoth, station

Ice cold, probe droid

Chewbacca destroyed

 

Here comes the Empire

Caught in the cross-fire

Elephant machination

Lucas imagination

 

Cloud City, old friend

Lando Calrissian

Yoda, good guy.

Do; or do not; there’s no try

 

Falcon Millennium

Hyper drive is broke’ again

Han Solo, Carbonite

Boba Fett, bad night

 

Fear, anger, jealousy

Hate, destruction, suffering

Luke leaves too soon

X-wing has no bathroom

 

Oh no, Luke is bothered

Darth Vader – his Father

No, that’s impossible

Lose hand free fall

 

Leia-Luke connection

Let’s go back and get him

This is where Lucas ends

The Empire Strikes Again

 

Chorus

 

Back at Tatooine

Jabba’s Palace not clean

Detonator, trip door

Look-out Luke, Rancor

 

Big rock, Spike door

Rancor is no more

Skywalker saves the day

Jabba’s barge is blown away

 

Time to separate

Dagobah is Luke’s way

Rebel fleet, a new place

Admiral has a fish face

 

Death Star construction

Our plan, destruction

Forest moon of Endor

Force-field, back door

 

Shuttle stolen pipe dream

Solo Leia Luke team

Lando Calrissian

Falcon Millennium

 

Rebel fleet awaiting

Emperor is baiting

Luke thinks that his dad

Has some good, but mostly bad

 

Darth Vader mind games

Luke tries not to cave

Meanwhile, Endor

Shield generator

 

Take it down, forest place

Fast speeder bike chase

Leia meets an Ewok

Wicket has cute talk

 

Three-pee-oh weighty

Some type of deity

Members of Ewok clan

Time to form a new plan

 

Forest fight guards yield

Take down the force shield

Akbar gives the green light

Rebel fleet in full might

 

Luke’s saber color green

What the heck does that mean?

Vader has been here before

Height advantage home court

 

Take Luke to emperor

Find out what’s in store

Rebel fleet arrival

Death Star operational

 

Uh oh, turn around

Star Destroyer background

It’s a trap. What to do.

Come on Lando. Time for you.

 

Fly on in once more

Unprotected corridor

Wedge Antilles shoots far

Main reactor Death Star

 

Lightning from the emperor

Luke needs his father

Skywalker Anakin

There is still good in him

 

Emperor is falling

Shuttle is calling

Hurry up and get away

Or, we will die today

 

Everybody gets out

End of the big bout

Death Star number 2

Big explosion redo

 

Dagoba, Tatooine,

Coruscant and Dantooine

Cloud City Endor

Big party up roar

 

Heroes journey plays again

Lucas makes a big win

Merchandising makes more

Money for a big score

 

Sell it to Disney

Make three more movies

Loyal fans had a fit

Should have stuck a fork in it

 

Just one more thing to do

May the Force be with you

Okay, enough said

Time to go to bed

 

Chorus

 

 

Footnote: As you can see, I’m a big Star Wars fan. I have seen them so many times, I didn’t have to review them to write this poem. It entails only episodes 4-6, the original trilogy. IMHO, those were the best three. After completing episode 3, George Lucas sold the Star Wars franchise to Disney for $ 1.2 Billion. Not bad for creativity, hard work and persistence. I was not as impressed with the last three movies. They had some good spots, but not as strong of story as the original trilogy. Further, I would rate episode 3 higher if it were broken up into two movies as Anakin’s transition to Darth Vader was not as believable as it could have been. I suspect the movie time was the limiting factor. Great special effects!