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The Gnome

By Brett Starr on June 9, 2018

The tulip leaves listen, while the dew drops glisten, and the wild wind whirls on by.
The left field’s sewn, (the one my neighbors own), and if its corn this year I’m gonna cry.
Because I like the view, when there’s nothin’ to do, from the deck on the front of my house.
I just kick back in my chair, and with the wind in my hair, and have a cool conversation with my spouse.

When it rains it pours, so we go on in of course, and we get back to where we were before.
We took a look in the fridge, and then you know what we did, we hurried on down to the store.
Now once we got there, with our soakin’ wet hair, we got a cart with a jiggly wheel.
And we went down the aisle, in a really silly style, just to see what we could find for a meal.

Now my wife already went, down the aisle until it bent, and started fillin’ up her arms till they hurt.
And when I finally got there, I couldn’t help but stare, at the blueberry stains on her shirt.
Well I thought we were done, she said looky here hun, and then she dumped all the fruit in the cart.
She says there’s a lot to do, and if I were you, I’d button that lip from the start.

Well we went on down, to the butcher and found, some steaks I could put on the grill.
We got some tators and such, but it wasn’t very much, ‘cause we’re tryin’ hard to tighten the bill.
Now I didn’t mind, passin’ part of the time, at the bakery with all the dough.
We tossed in some bread, and some non-dairy spread, and then she said c’mon let’s go.

When we got back home, we saw a 9-inch gnome, just a standing by edge of the drive.
He had a friendly face and a warm embrace, I could have sworn that dude was alive.
Who sent this thing, and what luck should it bring, my wife said I haven’t a clue.
He held a Polish flag and upon the tag, said I’m from Vratswav*, how ‘bout you? (*WROCŁAW)


We said what the heck, and we put him on the deck, and we brought all the food inside.
While the gnome stood still, I started the grill, and I cranked up the heat on high.
Well I threw on the meat, and I got a little weak, so I sat in my rockin’ chair.
Then surely by choice, I heard a loud voice, yellin’ what’s goin’ on out there?

I said give me some time, as I searched for a line, and asked how ya like your steak?
She said medium rare, and I jumped up from the chair, and proceeded to trip over a rake.
Well I scratched my knee, and looked back to see, what the heck it was doin’ in the way.
I stood back up, and I grabbed my cup, and the gnome had nothin’ to say.

Well I grabbed the meat, so that we could eat, and walked up to the door.
I said to the gnome, welcome to my home, I hope this place ain’t a bore.
We sat down at the table, and as soon as I was able, I said a little prayer for that guy.
I hope he don’t mind, spendin’ all of his time, outside watchin’ days go by.

We ate our food, and I thought it was rude, so I made the gnome a little plate.
I set it at his feet, just for him to eat, and noticed it was a quarter of eight.
So I looked at the trace, of the grin on his face, and I said you’re gonna be alright.
Then I rubbed my chin, and went on in, and retired for the rest of the night. 

And the tulip leaves listen, while the dew drops glisten, and the wild wind whirls on by.
That guy on my deck, with a really short neck, is one hell of a guy. 
So, if you see a gnome, sittin’ round your home, be good to him if you can.
He’s a friendly guy, he’ll keep an open eye, and watch out for your land.